My Inspiration to Blog
Do you ever feel the urge to figure out what your purpose is? Maybe this happened to you a long time ago and you figured it out early in life but for me, I feel like it’s been an on going journey of learning who I am, becoming comfortable in my own skin and loving myself. Growing up, I was shy..no literally, people used to tell me hello and I would cry. And then I would go home and cry to my parents that everyone at school called me a cry baby. Hilarious right? As I got older, I got involved in softball, cheerleading, the band, youth group at church, etc and I grew out of the shy shell to an extent. I was still really insecure and unsure of myself. I often even spoke with a stutter y’all. My nerves were literally on edge all the time. I was afraid I would do or say the wrong thing and I would be judged, criticized, teased or bullied…it was miserable. I tried to live my best life in High School and don’t get me wrong, I have some of the best memories but I also posses some of the saddest stories too.
I didn’t write this to tell you a sob story about my life. But I want you to understand some of my struggles because ultimately, you might have struggled with it too. What I want you to know is that we all go through really troublesome times in life but what we choose to do with it or how we react to it can be the paradigm shift. You see, the little girl I just told you about in High School is still the inner voice I live with today. To an extent, I am probably still a cry baby. I feel things so deeply that I just can’t help but get emotional and beat that dead horse in my mind over and over and over and over and over again. It literally drives me crazy sometimes.
Over the last few years, I have tried to overcome a lot of these characteristics that have been hindering my growth. I knew deep down, I was meant for way more than feeling like I was walking on thin ice ALL THE TIME. I wanted to stop hating myself. I prayed about it so much, for years. I even kept a journal and when I look back now and I see that in my writing, it only makes sense that one day, I had to decide. I had to choose more. I had to choose to be brave. I had to challenge myself to discover this person inside me who was dying to get out. I had to stop caring what everyone else thought. It was my turn to give myself some of the love and attention that I gave so freely to everyone else. It was my turn to invest in my own well being, it was time.
” In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.” -Andrea Dykstra
I see quotes like this and it relights that candle in my soul. If I would have been comfortable enough to just BE myself, not care what anyone else thought or let any obstacles get in my way, I could have been living my best life a long time ago. It really doesn’t matter who or what you try to be for other people if they do not value you. At your absolute best, you still won’t be good enough but you never know..sometimes when you’re at your absolute worst, you are everything and more to the right people.
This is why I decided to write a blog. I want to live my best life. I know that we live in a world full of rules on what beauty is, how you should dress, how you should behave, what’s acceptable and what’s not and it really needs to stop. But it has to stop with ourselves before it can stop from those around us. Most women are not comfortable enough to simply be themselves because they fear being ridiculed. I want you to know that you are capable of living your best life even if you don’t think you are. Turn the volume down on the nonsense and turn the volume up on living your best life. Do it for your husband, do it for your babies, do it for your job, do it for your whatever reasons are most important to you…but ultimately, do it for you. You deserve your best life.