Reasons to Forgive.

We have all been there. We all have our on scenario’s played out in our minds of things that have happened in the past and hurt us. Let’s be honest for a minute, those situations are really hard to let go sometimes, right?

I’m going to go over a few reasons why I think forgiveness should be a top priority even if you got an empty apology or even worse..no apology at all.

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You will never move forward.

You will forever be stuck in the past if you cannot let go what happened to you. Negativity can eat you alive if you allow it. Life will happen regardless and we can’t control the things that happen but we can control how we react to it. This applies to the things people say and do to you too. Let it go and grow through it. Move on, your future awaits you.

Learn from your experience.

Something powerful to remember is that you have the ability to grasp just the kind of person you don’t want to be or behavior you don’t want to posses. The pain and heartache that others put you through can be a staple in your journey towards being a better person. If you are anything like me, I sometimes replay situations over and over in my head sometimes trying to figure out how I might have been able to do something differently to produce a different outcome. Hello, anxiety! Am I right? I exhaust myself and I’m sure you know exactly what I am talking about. It’s such a fruitless behavior. Instead, concentrate on what you learned and let that carry you.

God forgives us..

We are all forgiven daily, why can’t we offer the same to others? In fact, God commands that we forgive and let go of resentment. Matthew 6:15 says,” If you refuse to forgive others, you’ll be robbing yourself of your heavenly father’s forgiveness.” Depending on where you stand with your relationship with God, maybe this speaks life to you. If not, carry on to the next paragraph.

Do it for yourself.

I’ve learned over the years that despite the pain people have knowingly or unknowingly put on my shoulders, I have to let it go. Forgiveness is a choice, simply put. If your hurt were rocks and you carried those rocks around in a bag over your shoulder, how much weight would you be toting around? Is your bag heavy or are you even carrying a bag? If it’s too heavy, put it down and don’t pick it back up. If you genuinely want that weight lifted, you have to do it for yourself. You deserve peace.

Forgive them anyway.

Not everyone will apologize and you shouldn’t wait around to hear those two little words either. When someone is not sorry for what they have done to you, it’s their problem not yours..unless you choose for it to be. You have to love yourself enough to let it go and move on. You aren’t responsible for carrying their burdens on your shoulders. I like to remind myself that hurt people often hurt people. They have their own inner demons to work with and sometimes it’s important to give them grace where they need it. Respectfully and with new boundaries.

Shed new light.

In such times, you can learn and experience things in new ways. You can establish boundaries for what kind of relationships you expect from people you associate yourself with. Current, old and new. People are ever evolving, perhaps if someones time card in your life has expired…then it’s time to move forward. The same applies the other way around. We are all on a journey, sometimes we travel together and other times we all branch off at the T and go in different directions. And it’s okay as long as you’re okay with it. Only you can answer to that, not me and not anyone else.

Forgiving and forgetting is easier said than done. I get it. I have lived it. We have all experienced it in some way, shape or form. The kicker is how we respond to these situations when they happen. I think it’s important to remember that it’s okay to be angry first. It’s only human. But just remember, that anger might just warrant an apology from your end if you aren’t careful. And it’s okay to take the time you need to heal. There is no such thing as crunch time when it comes to healing.

 

Confessions of a Firefighter’s Wife

I didn’t know it at the time, but I met my husband 14 years ago. He and I were both young and fresh out of high school. I was in college three hours away in North Louisiana. He was hustling away working with his dad to earn the dollars and in his free time, he was a volunteer fireman in his hometown in South Louisiana. His dad’s girlfriend just so happened to work for my mother and she had a photo of me on her desk. One day when my husband stopped by for a visit..he was incredibly interested by the boss’s daughters photo.

I got wind of this little twitterpated fella and asked for a photo in return. We spoke on the phone..we met and all in a few short months, I packed up and moved down to the south to move back in with my parents and be closer to him. The first time we met was truly one of the most comical situations in my life. He was so shy and timid. We rode around and talked and laughed about everything and nothing at the same time. Something about him was different..a good kind of different.

He already had a tattoo of a maltese cross on his shoulder to give you an idea of his commitment to being a first responder. The longer we dated and the more serious it got, the more my parents pushed him to seek out a more stable and promising job. One that could support us both if we continued to be serious. And he did..after about a year of us dating, he joined the fire academy and began his training to start doing what he loved professionally. Time flew and we fell more and more in love. After about a year and a half of dating, we got engaged and then a year layer, we said our vows and promised each other forever.

I knew when I married him what his line of work entailed. I knew that he would encounter things and see things that were disturbing. I told him I would support him but I didn’t want to know the gruesome details. On the flip side of that coin, he would also save lives and be the reason someone is still living and breathing today.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

What I didn’t know:

Being a fire fighter wife is like constantly living on hold. When he is gone…he’s just gone. It’s not the same as going to a 9-5 and if something comes up in between, he can sneak away really quick to help with this or that. His shift time is fully dedicated to his job. Not to himself, myself or our children. This has proven to be both positive and negative. Positive because it’s challenged me to become heavily independent. Negative because that challenge alone is really hard by itself and life gets really overwhelming at times and there is honestly nothing I can do to change those circumstances, except deal with it on my own.

Being a fire fighter wife is about taking the trash out yourself. Okay, so this isn’t the most awful thing in the world but ladies, hear me out..isn’t it wonderful when your husband does it? The overflowing list of to do’s is always so long and tasky. Having your husband around to do just one of those simple things truly makes my life so much easier.

Being a fire fighter wife is about saying the words,” I love you, be careful” in a more meaningful way. Of course, anything can happen to anyone during their day. None of us know what God’s plan is for our lives but in this line of work, these fireman are running straight into danger on purpose. It’s the most selfless thing any of them could sign up for and for me, it’s the most terrifying thing in the world. Despite him being trained on what to do in any kind of scenario, anything can go wrong in an instant. Knowing when I say those words, I could be saying them for the last time.. I am in a constant state of worry hoping that whatever call he is on day or night, he is safe and he will come home to me.

Speaking of which, being a fire fighter wife, you channel some strange telepathic magical powers. No, seriously. I can’t count how many times I woke up from a dead sleep in the middle of the night when my husband is at the station and I can’t go back to sleep. I find out the next day that my husband woke up at the same time to go on a call.

Being a fire fighter wife is about learning how to spend holidays and celebrations alone. Every now and then, his schedule aligns perfectly so he doesn’t miss much but then there’s years like this one where he misses mine and the kids birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc. It gets really lonely sometimes. Learning how to enjoy the times when you’re supposed to be with your loved ones is hard being that the one you love the most is away at the station.

Being a fire fighter wife is about learning how to not make your partner feel guilty for doing something they truly love. When they miss all of the most special things because they were on duty, it’s difficult not to hold it against them. We all know they can’t help it. It’s just hard doing everything alone all the time.

Being a fire fighter wife is about learning boundaries when your husband walks in the door. Did he sleep last night? Did he have to give CPR to an infant? Did he fearlessly run into a burning house to save someone? Did he have to cut someone out of a car to save their life? I think the hardest thing we have had to work through is the tragic plane crash he worked in Lafayette recently. When my husband walks through the door, I pay close attention to his mood. I gauge it so that I’m not throwing the kids on him or spitting out orders immediately when he walks in. For all I know, that might have been what his last shift was all about. I have to remind myself that it’s not fair to bombard him. I don’t know what he’s been through in the last 24 hours or if he can even handle the smallest of requests. We all need a minute sometimes and he deserves his minute too.

With that said, it’s all about being open arms when he’s had some rough calls to work through. Unfortunately, they have a hard time grasping the things they’ve seen and heard a lot of so it’s just important to be present and let them know that you are here for them.

Being a firefighter wife is about learning to listen to your children ask on repeat when their daddy is coming home. Thank God for FaceTime these days..sometimes just being able to see their daddy’s face and hear his voice is all they need to calm their little hearts.

Being a firefighter wife often means dinner for one. Sometimes it means driving to the fire house to visit or have dinner with the rest of the guys just so you and your kids can spend some time with him. And sometimes, as soon as you take your first bite, the fire alarm chimes and off he goes.

Being a firefighter wife can often leave you feeling empty and though I know I am not a single mom, sometimes the other wives and I joke that we are. The firefighter wives I have gotten close to over the years hold such a sweet spot in my heart. They say being a fireman is like a brotherhood and the same holds true with the women. We form a sisterhood and where our husbands cannot be, we come together and pick up each others pieces and fill in the gaps. Our bond cannot be broken just like theirs.

When I married my husband, I didn’t know how hard it would be to see him go in the mornings and wonder if he would come back home in one piece. I didn’t know how hard it would be to do so much life without him. There’s so many things I didn’t think about or truly understand until I started living it. But I also didn’t know how special it would be to hear our daughters call their daddy a hero either.

 

SUPER-cali-FACIAL-isticexpialidocious

Now that I have permanently put this song in your head for the rest of the day, let me tell you about the best facial I have ever gotten in my entire life. Yes, I have gotten many in my lifetime..way more than I can count but this is undoubtedly my favorite.

This facial is called the OxyGeneo. Also known as a Super Facial, hence my silly title. It will literally improve the tone and texture of your skin within one treatment and the best part is, there is zero downtime! This procedure takes all of about 30 minutes and is suitable for all skin tones and types. I actually had a hormonal break out on my chin when I did this facial. Don’t you just love when your body wants to remind you that the time of the month is upon you? Like, gee thanks lady parts, I’ve only been doing for 18 years but thanks for the reminder! Insert eye roll..

Anyways..my pizza chin had no match for the GeneO+. You’ll see for yourself before the end of this post.

What happens during a Super Facial:

1: Exfoliation

The type of exfoliation you can expect will be similar to a microdermabrasion.  A hydrating gel is applied to the skin and a tool will be used to remove the uppermost layer of dead skin cells, smooth and renew a fresh canvas of skin to prepare it  for receiving active nutrients. If you’ve ever been licked by a cat, the sensation of this exfoliation tool is pretty similar to that..and it kind of sounds like a cat purring too.

2. Oxygenate

For this step, a second  layer of hydrating mask is applied and the GeneO+ tool is used again but this time it is used to massage in a ton of moisture in the skin. It will increase blood flow and the skins metabolism of nutrients to the skin.

3. Infuse (Ultrasound)

This last step really seals the deal. The final layer of hydrating mask will be applied to the face and the GeneO+ tool is used again. A chemical reaction happens between the mask and the tool used and little oxygen bubbles will begin gently bursting on the skin sending oxygen rich blood to the area being worked on. This isn’t painful at all, pinky swear.

In a nut shell, this is incredibly nutritious to not only the surface of the skin but deeply below the surface as well.  I am so not a science person and I know this all sounds super crazy but if you have ever had an ultrasound done, the sensation is similar. It just feels like a cool sensation gliding along the skin. This step actually stimulates collagen so it helps plump the skin up.

Take a look at the before and after photo. I am completely blown away at just how much it changed my entire complexion in such a short amount of time. I cannot wait to schedule my next one, I hope to start getting these regularly! Speaking of, you can actually receive these facials about every 4-6 weeks. This treatment is your new best friend if you are looking for a quick, painless but highly effective facial. It will completely smooth out your skin texture, your fine lines and wrinkles will quickly be softened, your skin will be tight and firm in all the right places and undoubtedly the most hydrated and healthy its ever been! I can see how this facial would be crazy beneficial before any kind of event, photos of any kind or hey, even a Mardi Gras Ball!

You can easily visit  Laser Skin Care of Louisiana’s website to learn more about this treatment as well as all the other services they offer or give them a call at 337-237-1116 to schedule your appointment.  Click here for new patient inquiries.

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by the office of Dr. Kevin J. Duplechain.